Caring for yourself at Christmas is especially important when the season feels heavy rather than joyful. While Christmas is often portrayed as a time of connection and celebration, for many people it can feel emotionally draining or quietly overwhelming.
If you’re facing Christmas after a bereavement, or a painful breakup, or estranged from someone you love, or while supporting someone who is seriously ill, or managing your own health concerns, or worrying about money, or even dreading challenging family dynamics, you’re not going to be full of festive cheer, and there’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling.
If this season feels hard, here are some gentle ways to support yourself and navigate Christmas in a way that feels manageable, not perfect.
1. Let Go of How You Think You Should Feel
You don’t need to be cheerful, grateful or festive on command. Relief, sadness, numbness, irritation and anxiety are all valid emotions—especially when life has felt difficult recently or changed unexpectedly. Letting yourself feel whatever comes without judgement can ease some of the internal pressure.
2. Rethink What This Christmas Means to You
Traditions can be comforting—but they can also highlight what’s lost, changed or overwhelming. It’s okay to do things differently this year or not at all. Christmas doesn’t have to look like last year’s Christmas. Simplifying your plans, shortening your time commitments, or creating new rituals that truly nourish you can make the season feel more bearable.
3. Protect Your Emotional Space Around Others
If challenging relatives, in-laws or social expectations feel draining, it can help to set gentle boundaries in advance. Decide what you’re comfortable with—how long you (or they) will stay, which topics are off limits, or when you can take breaks. Protecting your wellbeing isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.
4. You Don’t Owe Anyone a Detailed Explanation
If you’re struggling, exhausted, heartbroken, or just not feeling it this year, you don’t need to justify yourself. A simple “I’m taking things quietly this year” or “I’m doing my best” is enough. Your wellbeing matters more than answering everyone’s questions or meeting their expectations.
5. Acknowledge the Weight of Caregiving and Emotional Labour
If you’re supporting someone with serious health concerns or managing a lot of responsibility for others, Christmas can feel especially heavy. It’s okay to admit this is hard. Allow yourself small moments of rest and self-care where you can.
6. Ease the Pressure Around Money
Financial stress can make Christmas feel like a test. Meaningful connection doesn’t come from expensive gifts or big plans. Honest conversations, simple gatherings, and realistic expectations can relieve emotional and financial strain.
7. Anchor Yourself in Small Comforts
When everything feels like too much, focus on what soothes you—quiet mornings, warm drinks, a favourite film, time in nature, or extra sleep. These small comforts can help you ground yourself when your emotions feel big.
8. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to carry this season alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a supportive community or professional support, sharing how you’re really feeling can make a difference. Asking for help is a strength, not a failure.
If this post resonates with you, you can find additional support in my post from last December – How to Cope with Christmas When You’re Just Not Feeling It – where I explore this experience in more depth and offer more ideas for navigating the season with compassion. And if you have children who are also struggling with Christmas this year – perhaps for the same reason you are – do have a look at my most recent post on the Brighter Futures for Kids blog too,
However this Christmas looks for you, know that simply getting through it in your own way is enough. You don’t need to make it perfect—you just need to focus on caring for yourself whenever you can, and know that it won’t always be this way.
Wishing you a peaceful, grounded Christmas and a brighter new year.
Warmest wishes
