Have you ever noticed what happens when a plant becomes pot bound? Its roots twist tightly around themselves, searching for space that just isn’t there. It might keep growing for a while, but eventually the leaves droop, the soil dries out quickly, and the plant stops thriving. It’s alive – but it’s not flourishing.
I once had an everlasting sweet pea plant that did exactly that. For years it sat in the same pot, leafy but flowerless. Every summer I’d water it, feed it, encourage it, and still… nothing. Eventually, on a whim, I decided to re-pot it – splitting it into two smaller plants, each with its own space to stretch out. That summer, for the first time, it finally bloomed! Every year since, it’s rewarded me with beautiful, vibrant flowers.
It was such a lovely reminder that sometimes, we need a change of soil too.
Recognising when you’ve outgrown your pot
Many of us reach a stage where we feel much like that sweet pea – surviving, but not really growing. Perhaps your job no longer excites you, or a relationship feels stagnant. Maybe you’ve outgrown your surroundings, or your routines feel flat and repetitive. Everything looks fine on the surface, but something deep inside feels cramped.
You might notice subtle signs:
A quiet restlessness or loss of enthusiasm.
Feeling drained, uninspired or short-tempered.
A sense that you’ve “shrunk” yourself to fit a space that’s become too small.
Wondering if this is really it – or if something more might be waiting.
Just like a plant that’s become root-bound, you can keep going like this for a while, but over time, the lack of room to expand starts to show.
The transition: messy, liberating, and worth it
Re-potting a plant always looks a little rough at first. Roots are loosened, soil is disturbed, and for a moment it appears worse, not better. But give it fresh compost and a bit of sunlight and a good watering, and new growth soon begins.
The same is true for us. When we step away from what’s familiar – even when we know it’s time – it can feel uncomfortable and uncertain. But that’s part of the process. Growth and stability rarely happen at the same time. (You might like to also see an earlier post I wrote about stepping out of your comfort zone – click here to read it)
Allowing yourself to move through that transition, rather than fighting it, opens up possibilities you may not have imagined. It’s often in this messy middle that confidence, clarity, and self-trust begin to take root.
How therapy can help you replant and grow
Sometimes we can make smaller changes on our own – but when the shifts feel bigger, therapy can be a wonderful support. A good therapist provides a safe space to explore what’s keeping you “pot bound,” to understand old patterns, and to work out what kind of environment you really need to thrive.
Therapy can help you:
Untangle fears that keep you stuck in familiar but limiting situations.
Build resilience and emotional grounding during times of transition.
Reconnect with your values and sense of purpose.
Develop tools to manage uncertainty and self-doubt as you grow.
Just as a gardener helps nurture a plant through its next stage of growth, therapy can give you the right balance of stability and challenge to help you find your footing in new soil.
Small ways to create more space for growth
Not every change needs to be dramatic. Even tiny shifts can loosen the roots and make room for new energy to flow. You might try:
Refreshing your routine – explore something new each week, however small.
Saying “yes” to opportunities that spark curiosity or joy.
Setting healthier boundaries that protect your time and energy.
Spending more time in nature, reconnecting with your own natural rhythms.
Journalling about what feels nourishing versus what feels draining.
Small steps create movement, and movement creates momentum. Before you know it, those roots start to stretch again.
When you allow yourself to bloom
Growth takes courage. It means trusting yourself enough to leave behind what no longer fits, and believing that something better is waiting on the other side. But once you’ve given yourself the space, the difference can be astonishing.
That sweet pea in my garden is my reminder: when we give ourselves room and nourishment to grow, we often discover colour, confidence, and beauty we didn’t realise we were capable of.
Warmest wishes
Frances x
N.B. If you have a child who is facing challenges in their life, do have a look at my separate Brighter Futures for Kids blog where I have numerous posts helping parents support their children and teens in a wide range of different situations